My Thursday

by Chris Tingom on June 22, 2006

Around 10 o’clock this morning I was returning from a meeting when I decided to get a bite to eat. An early lunch! Much better than eating at 4 pm (like I tend to do). I had never tried this one coffee shop over on Washington by the freeway, so I stopped in.

I decided that as often as I can when I order a coffee I would order a doppio macchiato. For a couple of reasons: Firstly, because I feel like that’s how a true coffee professional would test a coffee shops aptitude for coffee preparation. The second is because I’m a growing fan of that drink which is two shots of espresso with a dollop of foam.

One thing about the word doppio. It means double in Italian, but nobody even knows the term except Starbucks baristas. I may have to revert to saying double macchiato, instead.

So the coffee was fine and I went to Cousins next door to make my sandwich. They’ve got a different business model than Subway. They don’t prepare your sandwich in front of you, instead they prepare it back in the kitchen area. The other thing is that the sandwiches are 7 and a half inches long (Subways’ are six inches).

By mid-afternoon I was starved for food again and glanced to my left.”

“Hey Tom, you know what sounds good right now?” I asked. “Some pizza!”

“Yeah, I was thinking the same thing” he said.

We were in the car within a minute and headed over to this little pizza joint called Mama Mias Pizza (40th & Indian School). It was my first time there and just for kicks I decided to try some anchovies on my pizza. I’ve seen anchovies on the menu my entire life and never tried them.

I couldn’t convince Tom to even take a taste.

Anchovies are hugely overrated. But then again, I haven’t seen any ratings. They tasted like fishy little slugs with a lot of salt. Well, it wasn’t that bad! But I wouldn’t say they are amazing.

Since there were only a few places to sit we ended up sitting with this UPS delivery guy. He was telling us about how he drives around for 12 hours a day in his 1985 UPS Truck. There’s no air conditioning and no power stearing. Talk about a great way to strengthen your arm muscles!

We asked him if he listened to the radio much in the car and he said no. At least not since his radio fell out of the car when he made a sharp turn. He said that the truck comes with no accessories. Not even a radio.

It occured to me that more restaurants should have community tables where you get a chance to sit with new people. It’s such fun. You get a chance to ask them about their job and what they do.

Plus it was fun to tell him how the anchovies were all gooey inside.

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Spring Cleaning in the Elevators

by Chris Tingom on May 20, 2006

This is an old one from November 2005:

Five years ago when I had a real job I woke up early one morning and came into the office. I had prepared a couple of fun April Fools pranks which I had for some reason decided to pull in the middle of winter. Those who know me probably have figured out that this is not abnormal. Hey, I’ll do an April Fools prank every day of the year if I knew I could get a laugh out of it.

So I show up to work at 6 am and bring my materials to pull my pranks. I say pranks because I actually had two that day. I’m there early because I don’t want anyone to know who did it. In fact, nobody ever did find out.

I have printed signs I am going to place outside each elevator door on all levels including the parking garage.

The signs say “We have just completed our Winter cleaning. Please remove your shoes before entering.” They were signed The Management.

It was perfect. You should have heard the complaints. I hid in my cubicle listening to the receptionist and HR manager. Since they got in early I could hear them in the kitchen.

“Gosh, I just can’t believe the building management. They’re getting worse and worse.”

Other people complained and refused while others calmly complied with the written request.

That is, until all of the signs came down around noon. The building management took them all down — however the damage was already done and I had conned many people into removing their shoes.

Fun times. I need to pick a building and try that again.

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I have a Spanish Latte for…

by Chris Tingom on April 25, 2006

This is a story I wrote back in October 2005:

Down the street at La Grande Orange grocery store they have these wonderfal Spanish Latte’s that I love to get however I have one slight dilemma when I order my drink…

“What’s your name?”

“Chris”

“Last initial?”

“T”

Several minutes go by as I wait for my drink to be prepared and then I hear it.

“Spanish Latte for Chris T.”

Except instead of sounding like it should, the words blend together. So it sounds like a drink for Christy. As far as I know I’m the only name that has this type of problem. Drives me nuts.

So what did I do to resolve this problem? I started using different last initials. Like I’d say “M” or “W” or “P” and that would solve the problem.

Until…

I walk in last week and I order a Spanish Latte and apparently I’ve ordered from this woman before and she’s learned my name.

Yeah, you guessed it.

She says “It’s Chris, right? Chris M., or W??”

Not much you can say than “Um, yeah, M” and that’s the end of the story.

I suppose it’s not half as bad as the day I ordered coffee with shaving cream all over my face. Yeah, I’ll have to tell that story again sometime.

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Shaving

by Chris Tingom on April 16, 2006

This is an old one from September 2004:

So this morning I wake up and do my normal routine before heading in to the office. On the way to work I say to myself “you know, a nice cafe vanilla would be a great way to start the day.” So I stop at a Coffee Bean (one of my favorite places) to get my coffee.

So I go in and I order my drink and all the while the barista is looking at me like I just walked out of a snowstorm. I didn’t think anything of it at the time thinking she was just odd. So then minutes later I see my reflection in a mirror and low and behold I have dried shaving cream all over my chin. Ugh.

I’m just glad I noticed it before walking into a meeting with a client. Can you imagine the horror? I suppose, if anything, it would be a nice icebreaker.

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The gas station clerk

by Chris Tingom on March 23, 2006

My super sluth senses tell me the hot dogs have been rotating for hours. I don’t care, I could eat a boot I’m so hungry. I’m a detective on the hunt. I’ve come looking for trouble and trouble’s found me.

It’s about 4 o’clock and I’ve just stopped for gas. As soon as I enter the convenience store the hot dogs catch my eye. Begging me from across the room to dare try one. The store clerk knows it. I know it. I have to have one.

These aren’t any ordinary hot dogs though — they’re chili dogs. I’m in a penny pinching mood aand pass on the chili part saving all of a dollar.

After adding ketchup, I walk over to pay. The clerk looks at my hot dog for a long while without saying anything. I’m about to say something when he looks at me again, and then at the hot dog just to be sure. Yup, it’s a hot dog without the chili.

“Dude, you can have the hot dog. I feel sorry for you.”

And that is how you get a free hot dog.

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Wave to the cameras

by Chris Tingom on February 7, 2006

The other day I had a few spare minutes and so I stopped at the Borders Bookstore on Camelback. I ended up surveying the newly revamped coffee shop on the second floor overlooking the main lobby. The new coffee shop is a Seattle’s Best and I ordered an iced coffee. Good stuff. I don’t care what people say about iced coffee; I really like it.

Afterwards on my way back to my car I stumbled right through a crime scene. Before I knew it I was walking past a good dozen cops all eyeing this one person and cleaning up a mess of blood he had left on the sidewalk. I literally had to watch my step that I didn’t walk in the area they hadn’t yet cleaned up.

Right as I passed I observed one police officer taking photos of the criminal. He had blood covering the entire right side of his face. I can only presume he had somehow been slammed to the ground at some point — where the blood was on the sidewalk.

What didn’t make sense was who had injured him. The cops were interviewing a lady and from the look on her face — stunned — I think she must have been a victim in some way or another.

And then I realized that there were 5 or 6 television cameras pointed at the criminal. My thought was: oh great, now I’ll be on the evening news. The tourist that walked through a crime scene this afternoon completely oblivious to his surroundings!

About halfway through this scene as I will call it I realized I probably should get out of there and mumbled to myself that I should never leave home without my camera. Ahghgrr! That would have been a really cool photo.

I never heard what the guy did. I searched all of the news web sites and didn’t find a trace of the story anywhere. Who knows? Maybe he was a terrorist.

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Please follow this protocol when you are sick, thank you

by Chris Tingom on January 23, 2006

If you are sick or recovering from being sick with the common cold or the flu or any of those types of virus’ that spread around, I have some simple guidelines you should be following.

  1. You might feel better but you look awful and you’re contagious like a bacteria culture. Translation: Don’t come to church. It won’t impress me.
  2. If you do come to church, don’t shake my hand. Thank you.
  3. Don’t sit next to me or for that matter anywhere in the vicinity.
  4. Please leave right away so that I don’t get whatever it is that you have.
  5. If you don’t, I will.

It’s not that I want to snub you, it’s just that you’ve just gotten me sick and likely ruined my whole next week. I’ve been through this scenario far to many times to count and have learned to wash my hands with anti-bacterial soap immediately after (and sometimes while at) church.

Thank you.

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My sister doesn’t trust me

by Chris Tingom on January 18, 2006

“Are you recording this phone call??!” — A question from my sister when I called her one day.

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When I was a kid…

by Chris Tingom on January 17, 2006

I ran across this photo today which must be from the mid 80s. That’s me in the middle with my dad and sister. I’m pretty sure we’re at Lake Pleasant in AZ.

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I only saw the movie Tron (1982) for the first time a few years ago. I’m sure it’s famous for only one reason: it was the first movie to use computer generated graphics. I certainly don’t remember it for the great script.

This weekend while sailing at the lake I was reminded of the Tron movie when I watched how the boats crossed paths like they do in the Tron race scene. Everything happens at sharp angles in sailing as you have to work your way at a beat, a reach, or a run to wherever you want to go. In this case, it was a race, so we all had the same goal — to get to the finish line!

All of the boats pretty much go in the same direction except when one boat wants to cut across and get to another part of the lake. Often to find better wind or to see if their path is faster.

In sailing you can’t sail directly into the wind, and just like in Tron you have to make multiple criss crossing paths until you reach your next waypoint. When two boats intersect it can be an interesting situation and you can have some close calls. Unlike Tron, there are rules that govern these situations and nobody dies. Whoever is on “starboard” has the right of way in sailing (and that’s always one boat, never two).

So there you go. A scientific analysis of the similarities between Tron and sailing!

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